I mean, those masks they wear ought to
make it obvious.
Why else would a raccoon be wearing
a mask unless it was up to no good?
For example, back in Dec 5 of 2025
one broke into a package store
and went on bender with the store’s
abundant supply of booze.
And, surprisingly, an honest female raccoon
ratted him out to the cops,
and they nabbed the raccoon robber
passed out in the package store
after getting drunk as skunk on all
the booze he drank.
The cops and the news played this off
as accidental and funny,
which the raccoon was counting on.
Do you know why?
Raccoon Privilege.
Bob Boyd
Here’s the proof, and to this day the deviant raccoon hasn’t been charged for the B&E. Unlike if you or I robbed that package store, he goes scot free. I rest my case.